Sharing is easy

Women are not only fighting for equality or equal entitlement to the opportunities in the
pursuit of   their career but also to get their husbands to share the work at home when they are available. Laundry isn't just a woman's job and this prejudice related to household chores is constantly being passed on to the next generation. Gone are the days when it was considered that all the household work from cooking to washing of the family laundry is a women’s job. Today women are managing home and office efficiently. The women of the house are seen doing all the house work while the males are seen watching the TV. This is what the children have learned from their elders. Now both men and women are bread earners then why they both do not share the work burden together. Children learn from what they see so we must set a example for them. Now it’s time to think of a long term solution to this problem by nipping the prejudice at the bud. Children learn what they see and what they are taught by their parents. So if they see that the household chores are the exclusive domain of women, they will carry this prejudice well into their adulthood. Boys aren’t taught how to take care of children and how to do laundry. Washing clothes is not a rocket science. It’s very simple and just needs the will to help and understand that its good to share responsibility and break this old practice of putting all the laundry work on the ladies of the house. The issue is not ofcompetence. If someone wants to learn how to cook, take care of children and manage the household chores she or he can certainly do so. The competence in household skills is not the exclusive domain of women.2 out of every 3 children think that washing clothes is a mother’s job but the fact is it is not. It’s a mother’s love and not her job or responsibility.78% of girls in India agree that they should learn to do laundry as they will have to do it when they grow up. The question is why?

Almost all the household have a washing machine and one just need to put the clothes and washing powder and set the machine to do the washing then why only girls are made to do all the laundry. Why this discrimination.81% of married men in India agree
that their daughters must learn household chores. The point is that the boys should be trained for the same. Now there are no extended families any more so husband and wife should be equally trained for the household work to support each other and balance their lives.

I join Ariel and BlogAdda to fight the imbalance within the household by
asking #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob and asking men to #ShareTheLoad.

“I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”

Alittle help is what is needed

Today women are highly educated but the mindset of the society is still old and full of disparity. The twin role of a home maker and career is quite challenging. There is a generational change from my mother’s time to my grand daughters time. The outlooks, aspirations, mode of dressing and eating styles have changed a lot but the ills of society for women are still there. The rule set by society that household chore, especially laundry, is a woman’s job is still prevalent. Masculinity and manhood are constructed through a gradual, timely, an orderly process, of socially prescribed, family centered and community related roles and responsibilities. The extent of these male focused roles is, to a large extent, undertaken by women at the household level, where primary socialization takes place. Boys are taught by their mothers and shown by their fathers how to be a man and they are excused. Today women are more self confident and sure of what they want and deserve. They expect their husbands to be equal partners in parenting and in sharing the chores of the household. There are million of women who despite doing a larger share of domestic labor don’t complain of this inequality of performing ‘female’ tasks around the house. My sister is a full time employed mother who often complains about the burden on her. 

The morning time is the hardest, when she gets her six year old son ready for the day. She wishes if she could gets a helping hand from her husband. She wished her husband would help her by taking the kid to the bus stop or help him pack his bag for school but he always shows his superiority of being a male and refuses to help my sister in any way. My sister’s biggest and oldest complaint is when both are at home. Her husband won’t help with the laundry. She often asks him as to why doesn’t he help with the laundry to which he says "Never do it. I've never done it on my own and probably never will.” He doesn’t help because he feels entitled not to. 

He needs to relax when he comes home from work and on holidays and Sundays. While my sister wont sit still even on a Sunday. That’s the difference between her and her husband. She is cooking, feeding the kid or doing laundry whereas her husband is watching television or having an outing with friends. She and more women like her need help. If only their husband do some laundry or make dinner occasionally. Women today want more help and also want appreciation for the work they do at home and for what they have given up, the sacrifice of their time and for their efforts.

 She doesn’t demand equality but wants recognition for the costs that inequality has imposed on her. She has less leisure time till her children have gone to bed and after doing all the household chores. Most households are of the collective opinion that doing any household chore, especially laundry, is a woman’s job. Its time to balance this disparity within the household by asking #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob and asking men to #ShareTheLoad. And now it’s time to think of a long term solution to this problem by nipping the prejudice at the bud.

“I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”

oops I just broke that Stereotype

I am a free spirited person who hates being typecast into categories or stereotypes . Talking about stereotypes I must share the following details with you
Did you know that….

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their

looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have

affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from

family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on

their looks or their clothes than housewives.
Yes these statistics are true and not a figment of my imagination. There figures are taken from the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India . The above statistics shows how we sterotype others and ourselves.We all use stereotypes, all the time, without knowing it.Each of us has a biased view.We all have limited perspective.Life is a constant struggle.When I look back I find myself thinking what the others will think and accordingly should  I get dressed or act.However I love to dress differently or try new styles and fashion but I always selected clothes or accessories according to the occasion because I know I would not be accepted because of societies set rules.However slowly I tried to break free trying out different outfits and mixing and matching clothes. Since I was breaking a Stereotype that girl should dress in a certain way so there was opposition but I followed my heart and after some time evolved my own style of dressing that I still go by.After spending time observing the attributes of career in the eyes of a man I realized a harsh reality that women are treated differently than men in corporate world. Many women experience unfair judgment and treatment based on stereotypes.Many women lack career advancement partly due to longstanding negative stereotypes that follow women. Women face the challenge of being viewed as having deficiencies in maturity and the ability to take charge of their careers. It is often believed that the women wearing saree would lack the leadership skills that would enable them to run a department or organization. We pay more attention to stereotypes than we think.I am an individual and I am going to break these stereotypes at every opportunity and every stage of my life.The best way is to show my confidence and improve my body language. Show the world that they have to change their mindsets and accept us "women" in all fields of life.Its time to show and prove to the world that we women are capable of all sorts of jobs and we should not be discriminated on the basis of our appearance and clothing. Women are categorized into "Traditional" or "modern".If girls have long hair they are homely feminine and if short they are tomboys. People have fixed mindsets and think girls with long hair are fit to look after home only and they  should not take any profession. I have long hair and I used to wear salwar kameez yet I am a rebel with a cause. I still remember when I passed my 12th all my relatives suggested to me that I should take up home science and they started looking for a suitable
groom for me! When I told them that I want to go for management studies they all discouraged me. When I started learning driving I saw people staring at me in a strange manner as if they have seen an alien driving on the road. I encountered such stereotype in the professional world as well. I must admit that at times it can be tough but like a lone warrior I march on challenging stereotypes and breaking them. I
would like to give a big thanks to Nihar a brand which believes in encouraging and enabling women to achieve their full potential. Society should stop appearance based stereotypes as it affects women's morale and professional progress.We all want freedom from judgement that are passed on .An individual should be judged on creativity and productivity.


“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

Smashing Stereotypes because I know that IAmCapable

Bollywood actress Vidya Balan has recently released the Nihar Naturals’ “I am Capable ” National report.
I shared this statistics with my female boss.

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

She told me that she is in this field for more than 30 years.She has been through a lot of stereotypes and even after going through so much she still faces harsh and limiting assessments based on her gender, appearance rather than her true potential.Women's appearance and ability are different and should not be judged together.Women are being judged more, even by other women.A woman who shows emotion in the workplace is often cast as too fragile or unstable to lead.And on the other hand A woman who shows no emotion and keeps it hyper-professional is icy and unfeminine. For many women, it can be a no-win situation.Successful women face typecasting largely because society is still adjusting to women’s recent decision-making power.The effects of gender-based stereotyping can be devastating, potentially undermining women’s capacity to lead, and pose serious challenges to women’s career advancement.Most alarmingly, men consider women to be less adept at problem-solving.companies have shown an increased commitment to diversity, inclusion, and the advancement of women in the workplace. Yet, the representation of women in leadership remains stagnant.Organizations should take steps to eradicate this bias, women leaders will forever be undermined and misjudged, regardless of their talents or aptitudes.Gender stereotypes are pervasive in all aspects of life, from education to work, from sport to art, from family to political life.They influence behaviours at work and in social life; they are the root causes of inequalities in the labor market and in other spheres. Its a society's responsibility to encourage and enable women to achieve their full potential.The media and the advertising industry can help us overcome this misconception.Female gender stereotypes in the media are either housewives, obsessed over home appliances, or a sexy seductress, kissing a man to advertise a lipstick or trying on a new fragrance.Stereotypes can have negative consequences in terms of well-being and self-confidence.We women refuse to accept this stereotype judgement.I along with my boss and all other women join Nihar Naturals compaign. We support this strong message.A women should not be judged by her hair style or dressing style but instead by her creativity, talent and her performance.

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

matters of the heart

Marriage is an important step in our culture and society. I have seen girls been groomed for matrimony by providing them with culinary skills and asked to look after themselves so that they remain slim trim and look beautiful so that they get a good groom. As a dutiful daughter I followed this instructions and my marriage was arranged to a good looking groom of my parents choice. Taking the wedding wows I felt that from now on my life would be like a fairy tale in which I the princess would live with my prince that is my groom happily ever after. Little did I realize that marriage is the biggest turning point in the life of a person and the process of making it work and successful involves a lot of work and adjustments somewhere in this process the focus shifts from me to us. Whereas the girl invariably dons so many roles in the home and the office front in case she is working and the husband gets busy focusing on work. The me and my well being gets left behind as the wedding suit no longer fits the waistline that is growing at almost a steady pace with each passing year. The wife also puts her priorities as health,fitness and well being behind. This is what my own experience tell me. Both me and my husband were becoming slack in following the fitness regime that was an essential part of our earlier life. We used to take pride in the fact that we were slim and healthy and looked good but now it seemed to be a story of the past. We did not care about what we ate and as a result the wrong food and the lack of exercise took its toll on. Earlier the girls and the boys of the neighborhood used to call me didi but now I was being called as Aunty. Shocked I looked at the mirror and found an unfamiliar matronly figure looking back at me.

My husband was very passionate about cricket and a very good player too. He too got the shock of his life when he was not selected for the office cricket team as he could pass the cricket trials. The Annual medical examination showed his cholestrol to be higher then the normal level.

These events made us sit back and think. We now knew that we had to take quick action to come back to our old self.

We visited and took the ‘Weight-Heart Test at www.saffolalife.com

 

The results were not very pleasant. Still not everything was lost.

 The site suggested goals that we should achieve like a walk and a diet plan to get back to good health.

We took a pledge that we would go daily for a 30 minute walk and follow a diet plan to get back into shape.

We have been following this plan regularly and as a result my husband made it to the cricket team and I have again started getting compliments and being called Didi once again.

My advice to all married couples is to follow a healthy diet plan and go for a 30 minute walk everyday.

We the women should always remember that the heart always comes first. #ProtectHerHeart 

I am joining the Saffolalife #ProtectHerHeart initiative and pledging my support to better heart health in Association with BlogAdda.”

Romancing The colors

You may call me a regular 9 to 5 girl dressed in a regular business suit sitting in my cubicle where there is nothing much to distinguish me from the rest of the employees except my employee number. It was from  my early childhood that I was trained to be righteous and simple. I remember that as a child  during the Puja and Diwali time when all the members of the family used to get together and equipped with buckets and brushes would together paint the entire house white. A white that would even make my teeth appear yellow. The color was monotonous and kindled a fire of rebellion within me who wanted to paint the home in all the colors of the rainbow.Perhaps so strong was my repulsion for the entire house being painted in white that almost as a divine intervention when someone would inadvertently drop a few lumps of indigo that would give a few rooms a shade of blue. This used to be the only colorful interlude to the monochromatic memories of painting that I have of my childhood.

It is perhaps this repression of this choice of expression that has been kept under wraps for so long that it has taken the shape of a molten lava with me and it coaxes me to paint each and every room of my home in a different color .To bring to life every wall and let it tell its story perhaps the only way is to let is speak in the language of color.

As I chanced upon the #PaintFinder from the Bed Bath & More website

I found a tool to vent out my desire to paint my home in a hue of colors

To begin with I started picking up a color for the living room and after much deliberation I have decided to use a color scheme that incorporated the color green. Selecting a theme I applied the color green to the living room

 

 

I chose this color for the living room for a number of reasons, first my living room is the place where I meet my friends and guests. As green is the color of envy it is a warning for all those who are envious of me to make peace with me . As green is also the color of peace I want to drown all negative emotions like envy,jealousy and hatred in the ocean of peace that the green color of my living room represents.

For my dining area I choose the color orange

 

I choose the orange in my dining room which also happens to be the venue of parties which invariably start as sit down meals and as the music and drinks flow the orange in the room will add a degree of warmth and help those present feel more relaxed and enjoy the get together to to the maximum. It also happens to be one of my favorite colors.

Talking of favorites I the plain Jane also has a secret side .When I remove my glasses and let my hair down there is a passionate side of me that remains mostly under cover but my bedroom is the place where when I see myself in the big mirror this secret persona of mine comes out and demands that her likes must be honored too.

So my bedroom should look something like this

It is a room where the color red flows freely.

Red the color of love and passion rules this personal space of mine.

As it liberates me from boundaries and stereotypes and I can be just myself a person who is not bound by the sense of right or wrong. Instead I am the free spirited soul that I always wanted to be and play with colors to my heats content.

“I am participating in the #PaintFinder activity in Association with BlogAdda & Bed Bath & More“

My experience with Maxfreshmove

My experience with Maxfreshmove a  song and dance number. It is a wonderful song which is bursting with energy and freshness. It has made me look upon dancing from a different attitude. Till now I had looked upon dancing as an intricate art which involves rigorous steps to achieve that picture perfect vision. When I saw the wonderful dance steps of Allu Arjun and heard the enticing vibrant song sung by Anoushka Manchanda I knew that my concept of dancing was changing. The song has intense freshness and the dance steps are something to emulate. I had now found a new friend in this song and dance number. I was determined to overcome my shortcomings and master the art of dancing. This was no easy task but I was not going to give up. One day one of my friends came visiting along with her two daughters. They were a bundle of activity and did not sit still even for a moment. As I was busy chatting with my friend my mobile rang and the Maxfreshmove song filled the room. The girls stood stock still for a moment and then sprang into action. What followed was a tumultuous activity with a flurry of arms and feet springing into action. They were enjoying every moment of the song and their beautiful dance steps made us all clap and cheer them and their vibrant energy seemed to engulf us making that moment precious and memorable.

“I am dancing for #MaxFreshMove activity at BlogAdda. If you are not blogging, you can join me by participating in this #MaxFreshMove facebook activity.”